Wednesday, October 24, 2007

“Just because he is good, it does not follow that he is wise.”

I do not pretend to be good (but I hope to), I do not pretend to be wise (but maybe when I have wrinkled hands, I'll hold a bit of sageness in them). I can only say that I am here, wherever here is at the time.

The quote above was one of the sentences we were going over in an English composition course this week. It reminded me of people I know. Yes, I am a teacher. I do not fully understand all that that means, nor do I embody everything (or part) of what that could aspire to imply. I know I'm new. I'm an “assistant” teacher, I “help”. I've never taught in a classroom before. However, I wish I had brought with me a few more tools for “touching” (as Kenney says) the lives of these students. High school students. A tricky age to experience, a tricky age to “help”. Everyone needs help, everyone can give help. It is one of those good and ever-present things. Perhaps I'll make the tools as I stumble along. Perhaps I'll brush instead of touch. Which one sounds creepier?

I'm that resident English girl that helps out with classes and has a few of her own. You can come and ask her to check your essay (usually pretty amazing—I'll share some tidbits soon) after school or just talk to practice your English. We'll chat about traveling and loneliness and family and boys and tattoos and aboriginal Australian art and stuff. I'm starting small. A few students have approached me to have one-on-one speaking meetings and are thoroughly impressive. I'm slowly finding ways to brush and touch. “Little by little,” was a key phrase in a lesson we went over this week. Gradually. This is how we make life out of days. This is how we make differences.

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I've still been pretty busy. Meeting new friends (Yuma, who is three and does the best kemushi (ke=hairy, mushi=worm, kemushi=caterpillar) impression I've ever seen and gives the BEST cheek kisses), having fancy dinners at hotels (that means two hours of speeches given by everyone present—some great moments where I laughed and nodded my head and held my heart—and some moments where I caught myself thinking about how the sushi could have used a bit more wasabi when I was supposed to be answering “Yes” to the president's question in front of everyone, “I think you made an impact and were a good influence,” in reference to a former student of the high school and dear college friend. No. Bad influence. Very bad. I didn't know it was a question.), making things, adventuring (ninjaventuring), and learning.
I have to get my Japanese language studies going. I get glimpses of what used to be familiar, but need to begin again from the ground up. Little by little. Gradually. This is how we make life out of days. This is how we make differences.

I've received some wonderful e-mails describing the autumn I'm missing, containing photos of giant golden trees and descriptions of tasty pumpkin muffins and lentil soup. Thank you, everyone. I miss you all and love hearing from you. Oh! And happy almost (okay, a week) 'dress up like a pumpkin and/or give & receive candy day'! Are you ready?

1 comment:

Kelly said...

Dear Gracie,

Last night, I drank a pitcher of grainbelt and used the ensuing smiles to power my unicycle to Pluto. I caught you some space dust and danced the Kelly dance for you. On the way home, my smiles ran out and I had to use the space dust in a magic spell to make it home. I tried to stop in Japan, but had to buy pumpkins at the Farmer's Market and ran out of time.

For sadness!

Love,
Your Garden Gnome